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 Robby99.bpdsanctuary |
50 days but still life shows up.. |
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Posts: 45 (04/16/08 04:10) |
50 days today.. I feel horrible, sad and lonely and like my best friend is gone forever, my Borderline personality disorder is tearing me apart but for the
last 50 mornings I woke up clean and sober..
does that count for anything ?? I just feel awful still.. |
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TnSkye |
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Posts: 7643 (04/16/08 04:17) Co-Admin&Dopeless Hope Addict |
Waking clean and sober??? You bet it counts for something! You are alive!!
I wish there was a magic pill to make it all better, but there's not. Congrats on 50 days of sobriety! |
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Guene |
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Posts: 8833 (04/17/08 03:49) Moderator |
Congrats Rob, Wow 50 day's is wonderful kiddo, Hugs and love Bobbie
"A Thoughtful act or a kind word may pass in a moment, but the warmth and care behind it stay in the heart forever." Marjoien Bastin
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luvepiphany |
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Posts: 1073 (04/20/08 01:35) |
I know it's now 53 days?
but I just thought about you feeling like you lost your best friend.....I know how that felt. I lost my meth addict best friend too.... I lost him whether or not he got clean....ya know? I lost him to meth and when I chose to make him my best friend, I was in a delusion. He may have been my best friend, but it was a lie that I was his best friend. While in his meth fog, part of him just went along with me and he told me I was his best friend-only friend in the world.....he was lying. Meth was lying to him.....tricking him, making him think he could have a best friend besides meth. So, I accept the fact now that I never had a best friend in that man and now I work on being my own best friend. When I think of a loving and caring God as my Father, it's much easier to be my best friend. luv |
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TLC3 |
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Posts: 77 (04/25/08 20:31) |
For a long time after I stopped drinking....and more than 53 days, I felt sad all the time. I MOURNED the loss of alcohol in my life. I know it's one day
at a time but just the *thought* that I wouldn't be able to drink ANYMORE made me extremely sad. But I stuck with my program, went to meetings every
day....I MEAN EVERY SINGLE DAY, and eventually, the sadness went away and it was replaced with confidence, happiness, and hope! I'm serious. That sad
feeling WILL go away as long as you don't give into it.
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XOutlaw Woman |
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Posts: 125 (04/25/08 20:40) |
Way to go Robby. Sorry you are sad, but dope never makes anything better. I cannot think of one situation in my life that would have improved with dope.
Sometimes people need extra help. If you are coping with a personality disorder, perhaps it is time to get professional help, rather than suffering. To change your behavior, you must first change your mind. |
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Robby99.bpdsanctuary |
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Posts: 48 (04/29/08 11:00) |
64 days now ! how I do not know..
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doriefish45 |
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Posts: 20 (04/30/08 10:49) |
people thought i was crazy when i called my drug of choice my best friend. it was my constant companion for years. i had to go through a grieving process when
i said good bye. it helped though when i realized that my best friend had lied to and decieved me for most of our relationship. that i allowed it to control me
and taunt me. i slowly came to the realization that it was never my "friend". i also wrote a farewell letter to this so called friend. it gave me
some closure to the blessed end of the very sick relationship that we had. do i miss my "friend"? sometimes. do i have the urge to reconnect with
him? sometimes. the reason i don't is because today, i have respect for myself and will never allow anything or anyone to take me to the depths that my
"best friend" did ever again! i think it all the way through and know that if i do it even one time, i will give in and lose all that i have worked
for. and it is just not worth it! when i start to fantisize about the "good times", i just look at the scars on my arms and remember how it REALLY
was and still is. doriefish
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