Ifee guilt over the fact that my x has not contacetd me in order to reach our daugther.
he as to go thru me in order to get to her and I WANT desperately to KNOW that his lack of being able to be in her life has NOTHING to do with me.
I wonder, if he it is possible he is being sensitive to me....
like if he has moved on to another realtionship. Bad idea though it may be. It is possible.
In that case, maybe is concerned abt sparing my feelings and for that reason will not get in touch to see Chloe??!!!!
I know it is a stretch, but even if it is slighlty possible... it would make me the the reason Chloe is not in touch with her father and vice versa. AND this
makes me fell very bad.
I know I am asking to be validated. That if he is not reaching out to her--- it is his fault.
But -- is it possible--- can he just be keeping me from further hurt???
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 mcr |
feeling guilty for maybe no reason |
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Posts: 43 (05/02/08 23:08) |
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Just Ol Ma |
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Posts: 718 (05/03/08 02:15) |
Oh, it's possible, but's also possible, likely even, that he is not reaching out to protect himself.
Or even that he has so little concern for anyone else that making the effort is too much work. After all, if he wanted to connect with his daughter, he could write a letter asking to arrange a meeting, it doesn't have to be a phone call, he can send an email, he could ask a relative to deliver a message...the ways to connect are endless, but they all take effort. So now tell me, what you got left to feel guilty over? |
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Guene |
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Posts: 8928 (05/03/08 06:04) Moderator |
Ma's right Hon, if he really wanted to see her he would, sometimes when they are active in there addiction, they only see the drug and everything else
takes second place. I'm sure that deep down inside somewhere he loves her, but when your an addict you just can't reach out. You have nothing to feel
guilty about sweetie, nothing. Love and Hugs Bobbie
"A Thoughtful act or a kind word may pass in a moment, but the warmth and care behind it stay in the heart forever." Marjoien Bastin
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mcr |
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Posts: 44 (05/05/08 01:57) |
thanks
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mcr |
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Posts: 45 (05/06/08 00:22) |
I dont want to keep my daugther from her father or vice versa.
supervised visits are the only thing I will go for though and I highly doubt he would want that / make that work! Just sometimes- I feel for her and I dont want her to be hurt but I cannot protect her-- against him- emotionally I mean, not really-- is he chooses to not do supervised visits OR to even contact her and try then she wont know her father. period. sometimes that seems JUST HORRIBLE. |
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TnSkye |
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Posts: 7668 (05/06/08 02:35) Co-Admin&Dopeless Hope Addict |
mcr, you know I've gone through something very similar. These dads don't get in touch with their daughters for their own selfish reasons. If a parent
loves his/her child enough, he/she will do whatever it REASONABLY takes to see their child.
HE is the one who should be feeling guilty. Just so you can have hope, my stbx and I had mediation a couple of weeks ago. STBX claims to have been off meth for 11 months and off pot for 6. I still don't believe he's completely drug free, but that is what I have to go on. He did pass a UA and is going for a hair follicle. He will also be randomly tested for a while. So, I've stuck to what I said. I've decided to share custody. We are slowly working into a "normal" arrangement but are getting there assuming he's clean and stays clean. I didn't want to keep Christa from her daddy either, but I had to keep her safety in mind. I really hope that now he wants to be the daddy she deserves. I hope that when he decides to marry again it will be a woman who can love Christa and be a blessing in her life and maybe teach her some things I can't and be there for her when she feels like she can't come to me.
Some days you're the dog some day you're the hydrant. - Unknown |
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