Like most addicts, I let my health go, especially my teeth. However, I choose to deal with my spiritual and mental health before my physical.
Too easy to continue procrastinating the physical part, I guess. In fact, I think I concentrated too much and too long on the mental and spiritual part of
recovery.
I began my journey in 2004 and just filed for divorce last year. Now it's dragging out and I wish I had filed sooner, but, I did what I did when it felt right to do so.
I HHAATTEE dentists. I'm not going to tell you what I've been through cuz you'd laugh at me
but I hate 'em. Terrified even. But, I've put it off long enough. Time
to step up and face the damage I've done and deal with this part of recovery.
Out of the blue Friday, I found a dentist and called, thinking it would be a month wait because that's how it is around here. Nope, they had a cancellation Monday, today, so I took it.
Since then, I've had feelings of fear, dread, embarrassment, shame, you name it. When these feelings tried to take over and make me cancel my appt I'd remind myself that I HAVE to face this sooner or later and it's been later for a long time now. Also, I told myself that I DESERVE this because it will give me a better quality of life because I will be able to smile without covering my mouth. It will help clear up some of the other health issues I've been dealing with as well.
For me, in almost any situation, the cons center around fear. I kept telling myself that the pros are going to far outweigh the cons and I kept myself in the game.
Before I left this morning for my appt, I didn't have my usual case of runs. Sorry, but that's what happens. On the way, I didn't get nervous or shaky or get a headache. I managed to keep myself calm.
While I had machines running around my head, a pick poking my gums and my teeth and was hearing the dental noises around me, I managed to keep myself calm. Really used my breathing today!!!!
Now I'm home, in one piece, no blood, no pain and I feel EMPOWERED!!!
The only thing that hurt was the pocketbook but I'd expected that. Repairing my mouth is going to cost a fortune. It is going to take some sacrifices for me to pay for this but I'm going to do it. I can't do much more to rush my divorce, but this I can control to a point. As long as I can pay for it, I'm going to hang in there til the end, til I can do the normal 2 checkup visits a year...........
Yay me!!
I began my journey in 2004 and just filed for divorce last year. Now it's dragging out and I wish I had filed sooner, but, I did what I did when it felt right to do so.
I HHAATTEE dentists. I'm not going to tell you what I've been through cuz you'd laugh at me
but I hate 'em. Terrified even. But, I've put it off long enough. Time
to step up and face the damage I've done and deal with this part of recovery.
Out of the blue Friday, I found a dentist and called, thinking it would be a month wait because that's how it is around here. Nope, they had a cancellation Monday, today, so I took it.
Since then, I've had feelings of fear, dread, embarrassment, shame, you name it. When these feelings tried to take over and make me cancel my appt I'd remind myself that I HAVE to face this sooner or later and it's been later for a long time now. Also, I told myself that I DESERVE this because it will give me a better quality of life because I will be able to smile without covering my mouth. It will help clear up some of the other health issues I've been dealing with as well.
For me, in almost any situation, the cons center around fear. I kept telling myself that the pros are going to far outweigh the cons and I kept myself in the game.
Before I left this morning for my appt, I didn't have my usual case of runs. Sorry, but that's what happens. On the way, I didn't get nervous or shaky or get a headache. I managed to keep myself calm.
While I had machines running around my head, a pick poking my gums and my teeth and was hearing the dental noises around me, I managed to keep myself calm. Really used my breathing today!!!!
Now I'm home, in one piece, no blood, no pain and I feel EMPOWERED!!!
The only thing that hurt was the pocketbook but I'd expected that. Repairing my mouth is going to cost a fortune. It is going to take some sacrifices for me to pay for this but I'm going to do it. I can't do much more to rush my divorce, but this I can control to a point. As long as I can pay for it, I'm going to hang in there til the end, til I can do the normal 2 checkup visits a year...........
Yay me!!
