Firstly, because i use a cellphone each post can only have 450 characters, i think i'll need more so i will probably have multiple posts! Here goes :-) i relapsed today after 6mo clean, after 7yrs heavy using. I will pick myself up and give my Recovery another go til i get there. This is how i got here: My father was a drug user, it was normal, i grew up around it, drugs were always there, they were no big deal. My parents split up when i was 11
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 ilovedilana |
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Posts: 12 (02/20/07 22:21) |
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ilovedilana |
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Posts: 12 (02/20/07 22:35) |
when i was 13 my older bro and i moved in with dad and it was life as normal, i started drinking my dad didnt mind if he wasnt home when i got in from school he sometimes rang the house to say cokes in the fridge whiskeys in the cupboard. I became a full blown alcoholic, when i was 25 my dad said to me that he hadnt seen me sober for probably 10 years and we laughed we thought it was a great joke. I havent had a drink in 6yrs but only because
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ilovedilana |
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Posts: 12 (02/20/07 23:02) |
I had a new addiction, Meth. A friend turned me and my boyfriend of a few months onto it and i turned my dad onto it later that night, after all i would always save him a line of blow and he would save a line for me, it was tradition-courtesy. One year I had to quit my job of 8yrs cause it got in the way of my drug use. 2yrs and 45kgs later i discovered i was pregnant. I hadnt had a period for over a yr so i had no idea how far along i was 8 wks
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ilovedilana |
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Posts: 12 (02/20/07 23:19) |
later i gave birth to my son he was only1230gm but very healthy considering his ordeal and weight. The Hospital estimated him to be 5wks prem and 6 days after giving birth i was allowed to take him home. I didnt advise the hospital of my drug use, meth was only a newly heard of drug in the mainstream and i was scared i would lose my son. So in a surreal haze of drug abuse and shock i was now a mum to a newborn. Soon after i learned my dad was
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ilovedilana |
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Posts: 12 (02/20/07 23:33) |
learned how to cook meth. I went cold turkey to breastfeed my tiny baby. I named him Will for he seemed to have a Will to Live (existing for 26wks inside my emancipated skeletal body before i was even aware, being such a low birthweight but otherwise healthy, im ashamed and will never forgive myself for it) but he had the will to live. I made a promise to my son that i would not go back to drugs but i failed and within months of his birth i was
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ilovedilana |
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Posts: 12 (02/21/07 00:05) |
my fathers no1 customer. But money was like water through my dads hands and he was living batch to batch so to motivate him my younger bro used to say Time to get your A into G and turn some E into P (Pure - thats what its called here) and we used to laugh so much about my bros little pep talk, if you will, to my dad. And then one morn my older bro came over crying saying dads been busted, that there had been an explosion at his house and my
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ilovedilana |
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Posts: 12 (02/21/07 00:19) |
younger bro was unaccounted for. So we rang the cops and they said our dad was due in court later that morn for a firearms charge and more charges pending likely meth lab and precursors to be added when the drug squad finishes going over the property
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ilovedilana |
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Posts: 12 (02/21/07 00:40) |
anyway long story short and all that, my younger bro turns up later that arvo he had been avoiding seeing dad at their home cause he owed my dad some money and dad had told him not to come home til he had it! So he was safe thank god. My father went to trial for manufacture and was found guilty. my dad has been in prison for 2yrs now i dont write to him cause i dont know what to say to him i am just trying to get straight and i thought i had come
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ilovedilana |
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Posts: 12 (02/21/07 00:47) |
through the hell but i relapsed after nearly hitting 6mo clean. I hate what meth did to my family and to me and i hate that i let it. Thanks for reading
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TnSkye |
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Posts: 7843 (02/22/07 12:32) Co-Admin&Dopeless Hope Addict |
Thanks for sharing. I hope you'll come around more. Are you clean now? How long?
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ilovedilana |
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Posts: 12 (02/24/07 12:02) |
Hi Lisa, i relapsed 4 days ago so i got 3 days clean. Went straight to a meeting so thats where im at now, looking to do 90 meetings in 90 days. More determined than ever. Fingers crossed!
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TnSkye |
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Posts: 7843 (02/25/07 01:29) Co-Admin&Dopeless Hope Addict |
Now there's a plan! You can do this!!!
I'll cross fingers for ya too and maybe even say a prayer. We have a blog forum if you want to post and keep up with your recovery. Among other things, it can help find your weak points and improve on them. |
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indy pooh |
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Posts: 1 (03/11/07 13:16) |
just tell him that you love him
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