I Messed Up....

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Author	Comment
TnSkye	I Messed Up....	Lead	[-]
Posts: 7654 (04/25/08 05:49) Co-Admin&Dopeless Hope Addict Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts Report Post	Tags : None I won't try and justify it by telling you all the events leading up to it. I will say that my coping skills have been depleted or burned out for some time now and I've been running mostly on nervous energy. I wasn't really concerned that my sobriety was in danger because I feel that it is a choice for me at this point. Guess I never thought I'd choose "go ahead and do it." But I did and I did it because I wanted to. I really thought I was heading toward a nervous breakdown this evening and I made the decision to take 1/2 tylenol pm to help me calm down. Depending on how you look at it, I guess it's not so bad. What's bad is that I felt much more at ease before I even swallowed it AND about an hour later I was thinking about taking the other half just because.... I knew I had to tell you that I slipped so that it isn't a secret and I can get back to the business of recovery. Thanks for reading. email me at crystalrecoverycommittee@yahoo.com Some days you're the dog some day you're the hydrant. - Unknown
danimal55		#1	[-]
Posts: 236 (04/25/08 13:35) Registered Member Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts Report Post	Me too. I didn't want to call myself an addict any longer.[big mistake] About that same time I quit smoking, and a short time later a voice in my head started saying... "go ahead and do it" The rest is history.... Thanks for sharing your courage, strength, and brutal honesty Lisa. I for one learn by example....and you're a great one! TY
TLC3		#2	[-]
Posts: 75 (04/25/08 20:21) Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts Report Post	We all have to get on with the job of living. It's been a while since I've been to this board so I don't know what's been happening in your life. But taking 1/2 tylenol pm has made you feel that you "messed up"? ARE YOU JOKING? This is EXACTLY what makes me crazy sometimes about talking to people in recovery, i.e....alcoholics. Hi, I'm Terri and I'm an alcoholic. I celebrated 3 yrs of sobriety on April 8th. Sometimes these alcoholics around the table, one in particular who has 14 yrs acts like a frickin' A.A. guru. It drives me nuts. I guess to each her/his own but this one strikes me as a fricking lunatic. She lives and breathes A.A. She does this for herself which is FINE but she's too hard on ANYONE and EVERYONE who isn't as much of a loon as she is....and that happens to be just about everyone! She thinks everyone has to march to the same drummer as her. She doesn't want people talking to her sponsees unless they clear it with HER because she's afraid that the sponsee will backslide as a result. So, her sponsees live in bubbles. I'm sick of it. 1/2 tylenol pm? UGH, sorry but I just can't wrap my tiny pea-brain around that kinda' thinking. Sorry.
XOutlaw Woman		#3	[-]
Posts: 123 (04/25/08 20:24) Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts Report Post	Lisa, I think it speaks volumes that you recognize the behavior patterns that you spoke of. Feeling calmer when you decided to take the pill. That to me says you were using the Tylenol as a coping mechanism. You are such an awesome woman, and smart enough to know what you did and how you re-acted to it. That is such great growth. Don't worry a minute longer about it, and keep moving forward in recovery. You have so much to offer to others. Thank you for sharing. To change your behavior, you must first change your mind.
XOutlaw Woman		#4	[-]
Posts: 124 (04/25/08 20:28) Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts Report Post	TLC3, it was not the pill itself, it was the feelings related to taking the pill. It may be hard for me to explain it to you, but I'll try. In my opinion she was using the pill as a cure for what ailed her. She was taking to pill to deal with stress, rather than coping with the stress in a healthy manner. So you see, it was not the fact of the 1/2 of a Tylenol PM, it was the motivation behind the actions. To change your behavior, you must first change your mind.
TnSkye		#5	[-]
Posts: 7655 (04/25/08 21:36) Co-Admin&Dopeless Hope Addict Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts Report Post	If the kids hadn't been here, I probably would have gone out for beer. And, after I took the first half of the pill, all I could think about was using another or drinking til I was numb. THAT'S what is so upsetting to me about taking 1/2 a pill. I still have over 3 years alcohol-free, but that could have changed yesterday. Gotta get ready for mediation. Can't wait........ email me at crystalrecoverycommittee@yahoo.com Some days you're the dog some day you're the hydrant. - Unknown
XOutlaw Woman		#6	[-]
Posts: 126 (04/26/08 00:25) Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts Report Post	Well the important thing is you arrested the problem before it became a bigger problem ((((((((hugs))))))) Mediation sounds wonderful! That is a great stress buster. To change your behavior, you must first change your mind.
butterflyxo		#7	[-]
Posts: 1392 (04/26/08 02:17) Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts Report Post	(((((((((((((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) Lisa Damaged people are dangerous, because they know they can survive.
TnSkye		#8	[-]
Posts: 7659 (04/26/08 04:21) Co-Admin&Dopeless Hope Addict Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts Report Post	Mediation, not meditation. Coulda used meditation though. lol. Divorce stuff. email me at crystalrecoverycommittee@yahoo.com Some days you're the dog some day you're the hydrant. - Unknown
no more mething around		#9	[-]
Posts: 1403 (04/26/08 06:08) Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts Report Post	Right - I get ya - it was the taking of anything- I get that. At first , I was like - HUH ?? A Tylenol ? Lisa ? Have you lost your mind - that's not bad .....but then ....I GOT it. Lisa - call me - write me - I am here for you anytime , anywhere . I love you - I love you - I love you. You're going thru some tough crap there woman - I admire you. ((((((((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))))))
XOutlaw Woman		#10	[-]
Posts: 127 (04/26/08 19:42) Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts Report Post	Mediation! OMG! What a slip of the tongue! LOL! Well at least I can laugh at myself! MEDITATION is good for the soul, mediation I'm not so sure about! Hope it turned out good. Sorry! My bad (as the teenagers say! lol). To change your behavior, you must first change your mind.
TnSkye		#11	[-]
Posts: 7663 (04/26/08 20:04) Co-Admin&Dopeless Hope Addict Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts Report Post	I laughed out loud. I do things like that all the time. It's nice to know I'm not alone. Mediation was great, in fact. Maybe it was good for my soul. email me at crystalrecoverycommittee@yahoo.com Some days you're the dog some day you're the hydrant. - Unknown
Guene		#12	[-]
Posts: 8873 (04/27/08 05:14) Moderator Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts Report Post	I get Lisa, I really do, I can't even count how many times I've said yeah, I could use a drink, a cig or even a joint, but then I think about everyone here and what hell I've gone through with Jamie, and I remember Mikes drinking and my parents. It's so easy to want the pain to go away, I know what your talking about, Love Ya Bobbie "A Thoughtful act or a kind word may pass in a moment, but the warmth and care behind it stay in the heart forever." Marjoien Bastin
luvepiphany		#13	[-]
Posts: 1101 (04/27/08 08:27) Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts Report Post	Know what Lisa? When I start feeling Really Stressed.....most of the time I run to my Herbal Tea cabinet for some Easy Now or Stress Reliever tea or the vitamin cabinet for some Calms and really, it's now different.... Although, I don't want to drink or take more because I have faith that what I'm taking Will Work. But, reaching for something to self medicate IS something I do. Obviously, you have some solid recovery that is on your internal hardrive because very quickly, you knew what you were doing, so keep your hardrive powered up I will too. luv
luvepiphany		#14	[-]
Posts: 1102 (04/27/08 21:29) Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts Report Post	Touchstones I drink not from mere joy in wine nor to scoff at faith - no, only to forget myself for a moment, that only do I want of intoxication, that alone. ~Omar Khayyam~ What has been our drug of choice? It may be alcohol. It may be sugar or gambling or dependent relationships. Some men have used anger, sex, sports, or the accumulation of money. Growing in this program, we learn there is a great brotherhood among us. Our problems have not been only with a certain substance or a given behavior. We have been seduced and trapped by a ritual of forgetting ourselves. If we hadn't found one way, we may have found another. In giving one up, we often found ourselves drawn to a new substitute. Now we are learning to accept ourselves and to forget ourselves in healthier ways. We all need to move beyond the bounds of an oppressive ego. In our old style, we could not learn healthy releases because we were hooked on unhealthy ones. Now we are learning meditation, making friends, helping others, and letting go as ways to forget ourselves. I pray for help today in staying away from self-destructive intoxications so I am able to learn healthy releases. From Touchstones: A Book of Daily Meditations for Men

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