I am 22 year old girl with a beautiful little girl. I quit meth for the first time when I was 15, started when I was 13. I quit it, let go of all my friends that did it and retreated to be with my boyfriend, I loved my life and the small group of friends that I still had. I ended up using other drugs when me and my boyfriend broke up, but would stay away from crystal. Then I fell in love again and found out after it was too late to just leave him that he was a crystal dealer, I did it one night with him because all my coke was gone... That was it I was hooked again, I was even using it around my daughter in the bathroom, before, I wouldn't even let anyone drink a beer around her! I lost all my friends. But I was so happy.. i was finally back to 110 pounds and thought I looked good again. I could everything, work, take care of my daughter, clean the house, and have fun. Then me and boyfriend started fighting all the time, huge fights... We both decided to quit and have been doing really good for 2 months, then we did two lines this weekend. Ever since not only do i feel horrible for doing it because we had done so well all I have done is crave more. I am so scared it will always be like this, it will never get better, I will always be stuck in this life that I can't escape. All I wanna do is wake up and have the energy again to wake up and live normally, to function without something giving me a boost. I am so scared that people will find out that I was using, I hid it quite well. Im scared i will lose my daughter, my life. I just want to take back the first time so long ago and never associate with anything. I am scared that my boyfriend won't be able to stay clean either and it ruin us. When we are sober we are so happy together but can 2 addicts really be together. i love my life and dont want to lose it. Any of it except for the addiction. I am so scared.
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I'm Scared
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 foxyempress |
I'm Scared |
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Posts: 7 (06/15/06 04:04) |
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henrts |
I can relate | ||
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Posts: 5 (06/15/06 12:20) |
I ask my self the same questions day after day? Can two addicts make it. I have been with my husband for 12yrs . We met while using and have used on and off throughout our marriage. I am now getting clean for my self. I have never wanted to before. I am so scared that I won't be able to do it or I will lose my husband in the process.
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foxyempress |
Re: I can relate | ||
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Posts: 7 (06/15/06 19:48) |
Yeah, I hope we can make it... My daughter and him are the only reasons I am trying to stay clean. I pray everyday that we both make it.
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henrts |
making it | ||
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Posts: 5 (06/16/06 05:29) |
Well I hope you make it too. I know that this is the first time I ever wanted to try and quit. I look into my boys eyes and they are the reason that helps me each day
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FreeOnKci |
Re: making it | ||
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Posts: 1 (06/16/06 07:28) |
I just want to say that my husband and I are both addicts we met in our active addiction over three years ago..we done all kinds of crazy crap together...We faught and faught and faught!!to where I told my kids I was in a car wreck because I looked so bad...Today we are both clean and sober he has 17 months clean and I will have 17 months clean the 28th of this month...We dont fight anymore(knock on wood) we have a good marriage now...BUT we both wanted to get and stay clean. tho he started his recovery before me I followed shortly after...We done it for ourselves but at the same time for our kids...The one thing that is VERY VERY important is that you both want to get and stay clean and sober for YOURSELVES!!!!!
My point to this is yes two addicts can get clean and sober together but this is only from my personal experiance |
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Just Ol Ma |
Re: making it | ||
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Posts: 829 (06/17/06 03:05) |
I'd like to tell you about some friends of mine...T and Rep...both used, they used together...he decided to get clean, she wasn't ready...he turned her in.
Today although I don't hear from them often, they are enjoying life, their daughter graduated highschool, their son is attending marial arts classes, Rep does too although son can whoop father...LOL! Both have made their adjustments to life after drugs, neither uses today...yes there were relapses, but those didn't last. Can two addicted persons make it? Why not? Aren't you people first, addicts second? Today is the day you have, tomorrow never comes, and yesterday is over, although you carry it with you...don't hang onto all the baggage of yesterday. The load is heavy enough even when you leave some of it behind. |
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angela |
dont live for him | ||
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Posts: 8 (10/07/06 03:37) |
You are so young. When I was your age I married a meth addict and it ended all bad then years later I met the man of my dreams unfortunately he was an x meth head who has now returned to it and it is hell. Your daugter needs you be strong for her don't worry about wether or not he will get clean with you get clean for you not him. If he has the desire to stop he will if not then you have some hard choices to make just like the rest of us but the one important factor here is that beautiful little girl i have 2 of my own 7 and 10 and you know what loving a meth head and letting him make me loose my kids is not worth it I can't change him I still love him but the drugs have control of hin now and he is not the man I married and I refuse to let my kids suffer the consequences of my mistakes I don't want them to end up on meth and I know you don't want that for your little girl. If you know God seek him he will carry you through this . Trust me he will carry you through this. The biggest realization for me was that I was worth being loved and that it wasn't that he didn't love me it was the drugs and that he didn't love himself.Be Strong
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llsnwtsn |
Re: dont live for him | ||
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Posts: 26 (02/14/07 03:55) |
this won't be easy but you have to decide that you are in charge on only you and you are the only one that can make the future better
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